Thoughts on Motherhood and Ice Cream

I read this the other day....it really hit me. Being a mother is one of the most trying "jobs" in the world but definitely the most important and most rewarding. I need to seek out the good things and hold on for dear life. I NEED to live more in the "now". “…the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make…I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of [my children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” --Anna Quindlen Her daily motherhood tasks are done…nothing but a faded memory. It’s true that mothers always have a never-ending list of things to do. We check off the things on our lists that we “get done,”…Pay the bills. Do the ironing. Clean the house. Do the shopping. But are we really accomplishing our goals if we didn’t notice the look on our child’s face as he just did a "cool trick" on his scooter that he had practiced over & over until he got it right; if we are always in a rush to complete chores so we can get to those “important projects”. Sometimes success is when we don’t get through the “to do” list. Instead, we stop long enough to NOTICE THE LITTLE THINGS. To savor every moment. Not only to notice the delight in our children’s eyes, but to help create that delight. BEING WHERE YOU ARE, WHEN YOU ARE

and staying there as much as possible. Getting down on the floor and "getting delirious over the praying mantis your son just caught instead of perusing a fax or filling the dishwasher while he is yelling for your attention and you distractedly say over your shoulder: “Oh, honey, isn’t that a pretty bug.” It’s about being attuned enough to notice when your kid’s eyes shine so you can make your eyes shine back.”

"It's learning to love the journey, not the destination"

I desperately want my kids to see my eyes sparkle and shine when I play with them. I want to get down on the floor and "get delirious” over the simple things that inspire and entertain them. I want to enjoy and discover the world from their perspective. This time with our young children slips away so fast. But the joy that I feel while I’m in the moment with my kids will not fade over the years like the pictures and the memories, it will become part of me. And it will become part of my kids. There will always be moments, okay, DAYS of frustration. When I've re-cleaned the same room 14 times, and already washed the load of laundry when someone hands me clothes that should have been in it. It will always take time to get everyone out the door for school with lunches and homework and clean teeth. But I’ve committed myself to changing my outlook. I am so blessed! There are those out there with children suffering from illness, who can't make the pain go away. Those with children who are missing or who have died, and those who can't even have children! I am so blessed that I don't have those kinds of experiences. Even a "bad" day should be a great day because I have the opportunity to be a mother of these most precious souls. I have the opportunity to snuggle up with sweet smelling, clean kids in soft pajamas and read to them. I get to laugh when Bronson (truly) accidentally flings meatloaf off his plate which goes up into the air and then lands smack dab on his face. I get to listen to them declare "We're sleeping together !!" I get to hear them having a marvelous time belting out Camp Rock songs at 6:30 AM. When I savor and soak up those day to day "moments", it makes all the frustrating stuff not so bad.

Speaking of savoring....I love that as a family we can create our own traditions. The night before school starts we have a tradition that we really "SAVOR" (more like salivate for :) ). Kind of like our "Salute to Summer" celebration. The girls get pedicures. And then we go out to dinner-for ICE CREAM. We are a pretty healthy family when it comes eating, needless to say the kids really enjoy dessert each night after dinner. But sometimes rules need to be broken, so we throw em' all out the window and pig out on ICE CREAM! I don't know exactly how this started, but anyone who knows me knows that I lOVE ice cream so I'm pretty sure it was my idea. They get to choose whatever flavor & toppings they want. MFY is one of our favs so they chose Golden Spoon, which is pretty much the same thing.

Filling up on each and every last bite of that sugary goodness....YUM!

I'm pretty sure that "finger" was NOT intentional!

The GREATEST Show on Earth

"Mom, This REALLY IS the GREATEST SHOW on EARTH!" Brooklyn exclaims! We had so much fun at the circus. For the full 2 1/2 hours they were completely immersed and entertained. Yes, I'm sure the fact that their mouths were stuffed full of cotton candy the whole time contributed to their entertainment. It was a great family night...

"Mama, I want to be a Bird"

I want to be a BIRD so I can FLY...I hear this phrase from Bronson almost daily. He wants to fly and soar through the air... FREEDOM. He always calls my attention to the graceful hawks gliding on the wind. This morning while I was working on the computer, he was looking out the window at our big beautiful tree. He was watching several birds only about a foot away from the window in nests. He says, "If I could catch a bird I would name it Red Wings. I would take care of it and it would be with me forever. Maybe I could learn to fly."

It made me really stop and think how fleeting these moments will be as our children get older. I wished I could just hold him tight and stop time. Oh, how I long to savor every moment. How intrigued Bronson is with nature. He really soaks it all in trying to figure it out. I find myself discovering and appreciating more and more the beauty and wonder of God's creations. I am so thankful that my children have helped to remind me to find joy in the little things. And Bronson, I hope you NEVER lose YOUR SENSE of Wonder.

Concerts in the Park-okay in the backyard

The "Program"

I know it's been a while...this is our concert from when, out of the blue, it got cold and rainy. I LOVED watching them out on the tramp, just happy as could be, singing together, in the rain and a coat.

Father's Day Celebration

Because of his work schedule we celebrated Father's Day for Billy on Saturday. The kids were so excited to shower him with all the cards and gifts they had for him. Our house was decorated with huge banners and posters they had worked so hard on. I love their excitement when it comes to gift giving!

We went to dinner at Benihana. The kids and I surprised Billy with homemade fortune cookies on his plate with fortunes that we had written. It was cool to watch the chef prepare our meal right before us. Brooklyn & Bronson liked the little smoking "volcano" the best.

Billy works so hard for our family. He is so dedicated and passionate about what he does. He is so fun to have around and our children absolutely idolize him! He is very loving, so kind, and playful. Our children LOVE to snuggle him on the couch and hang out with him by the computer and listen to music. I can't imagine my life with out you! I love you Billy! 789

HAPPY FATHER"S DAY, DAD!!!!

"MAN"icures

Billy & Bronson loves the song by Brad Paisley "I'm Still a Guy". In fact Bronson know pretty much all the words-funny cuz I didn't even know he had heard it enough to have it memorized. My favorite part they sing is "These days there's dudes getting facials...manicured, waxed, and botoxed..." HEY, there is NOTHING wrong with guys doing a little "MANscaping" and Bronson has no problem being hygienic. Being the little Romeo that he is, he is always teeth brushing, hair combing, deodoranting, cologne spraying, mouthwashing...etc. Today he decided he wanted to give me a manicure & pedicure. Since I already had freshly pedicured toes he said it was okay to just get a manicure. After about 10 minutes of "testing" colors he finally chose the color that would look best on me. Bronson slowly painted so carefully & actually did a very good job. He was so proud of himself. Later that day, after the polish on my skin had washed off, he says, "Wow, I'm better than I thought. I should get a job doing this!"

Sunday Bobbing.... for Apples

Sundays are my FAVORITE DAY of the week. I love getting feeling renewed & spiritually "fed" and I LOVE the fact that I don't have to go anywhere. We can just be together as a family. Early 8:30 am church means the rest of the day to hang out, rest, play, watch movies, bake, and scrapbook. Today the kids had planned "BOBBING FOR APPLES DAY". A bucket filled with water, a few apples, a homemade shower cap (invented by Miss B and it really did work), and they are good for the afternoon.

This is Bronson's impersonation of Richard Nixon

Horton Hears a Who

We had a super fun day today. I heard about the IHOP Dr. Seuss meal and knew my kids would love the idea so I called but they no longer offered it. I was disappointed but also kind of glad (because I am a health freak and like the idea of home cooked nutritious food) so I recreated it at home. I surprised the kids with a YUMMY lunch of "Who Cakes" with Beazleberry drizzle, "Green Eggs and Ham", and "Jo-Jo" Juice to drink.

This may be a tradition...it was soooo good! Then we headed to the theater to see Horton Hears a Who- totally loved the movie. On the way home the kids and I had a great spiritual conversation sparked by the movie message. I was so grateful that they were able to get what it was all about!

We spent the rest of the day swimming, being goofballs, and hanging out with family. It was a perfect "ALMOST SUMMER" day!

Brooklyn & Bronson hanging out with Uncle Kole

Mother's Day story

Brooklyn is a phenomenal writer. When I meet with her teacher for conferences I get to read some of the stories out of her Life Book. I am always blown away by the things that come out of her. Even as a 1st grader she was really good, but this year her writing abilities have just taken off! So I have to share the story she wrote me for Mother's Day. SO CUTE!!!

She loves this title- it is one of our favorite books....

I LOVE every single ounce of it..but my favorite line has to be...

"You are hygiene to my heart"

Oh how precious this is to me now, and it will be someday to her children & grandchildren!!

LOVE YOU LOLLIE!!!!

Rattlers Game

Last week we took the kids to a Rattlers game. It was pretty fun-even for me, who is not a football fan, and does not really understand the game. We had good seats right behind the goal post-especially if you are into the "entertainment". Good thing for the padded walls, those guys hit the walls really hard! Pretty cool introduction of the players with fire works, and flames.

Oh, and we also saw Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" & "How to Look Good Naked". He was the celebrity host/ special guest of the game.

The big question of the game from Bronson:

(of course had nothing to do with football)

"Where did the CHEERLEADERS go?"

Mr. Ladies Man wanted to know why they kept leaving...

(it's because they cheered under the goalpost and would get creamed by football players if they stayed. They would alternate goalposts depending on which way the players were headed.)

Once he discovered where they went, he pretty much hung out there for the rest of the game.

I'm getting a little concerned...this is Bronson watching intently as the "dancers" are performing. Notice how MY HUSBAND has a hard time taking his eyes off the field.... :(

Oh PLEASE, all you men, wipe off the drool...

Being A Mom...

Being a MOM... We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all.

I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

To my beautiful babies with gratitude....I am forever blessed to be your mother! I am honored to be the one you chose to spend this earth life with. I am far from perfect, thank you for your patience as I learn, but my love for you is unconditional, endless, & eternal.

For me Mother's Day is not JUST about MOTHERS. It is about ALL WOMEN. We ALL have been given the divine calling to nurture children on this earth, whether our own or not. We are here to be advocates for those who either cannot speak, or their voices will not be "heard"-(listened to). What a blessing it is to have each other! To learn from, rely on, give strength to, and love!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING WOMEN IN MY LIFE!!!

Job Description: MOM

POSITION:

Mother, Mom. Mama

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and face embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of half a million cheap, plastic toys,

and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

If WOMEN Controlled the World....

How we preserve those fastly fading childhood moments...

I need to face it. My kids are going to grow up. And that's already happening way faster than I feel ok about. It totally tears my heart out to think that Bronson will be in kindergarten. Gone all day. I am going to lose my Buddy. My errand buddy. cleaning buddy, story buddy, lunch buddy, (and my most favorite) my cooking buddy. Little "Bronsatouille" we call him (after Ratatouille). It is some of the most precious time I spend with him in the kitchen making dinner before we pick up Brooklyn from school. And I must say even though he is 5, the boy can cook! And has a passion for it too! I'm talking on the stove!! I love every second with him. And Brooklyn will be 9... nine! Where did my sweet little baby girl go? Where's the little one who used to help me fold laundry-"Mama, I'll be the pannie baker (underwear folder) and you be the clo baker." (fold everything else) Time goes too fast, I feel like I can't get enough! I guess that's why I latch on with all my heart to ideas I hear or come up with that will help me cherish the moment while they're young. Some of them I'm good at. Some of them I want desperately to be better at. Here are my ideas that helped me to soak in my "babies" for as long as they'll let me. I would love to hear your ideas...things you do with your own family.

1. Yeah, Lunch Dates!

I know there will be a time I'll need to take school time more seriously. Soon enough they will be worrying about jr high finals, SAT scores, and college applications. AHHHH! But this is only elementary school for now.So once a month I take them out of school for a lunch date. With how busy life can be it seems like a good time to squeeze in a little quality one-on-one time. They love that they can choose where they want to go, and I love to watch the twinkle in their eye at the fact that they can order whatever they want. I love that they beg for it to be their turn. I'm attempting to have a little interview with them during this time. I want to help them learn to set and accomplish goals, albeit very short term small ones for now. I love our alone time together, connecting with them. I know these lunch dates, as "gourmet" ...(not)... as they are, help my kids to feel so special and loved.

2. Real Date Nights

I am definitely wanting to work on this because I love it and I know the kids love it too! Every once in a while we take the kids on individual dates. My friend gave me this great idea to have a date jar with strips of activities to do-some as simple as going to the park, for a bike ride, or making a cake. Or other things like going to a concert, play, museum, baseball game, etc. With Brooklyn once in a while we will have a scrapbook night when Billy is working. She gets to stay up late with me and create, just us. She eats it up! So I will take Brooklyn while Bronson is with Billy, then the next time we switch. I feel sometimes like we can get a little "disconnected", just like adults need a special date now and then so do our kids.

3. "Can we have Movie Night?!!!!!"

With Billy being gone at night so much, after all homework, baths, etc have been done, yes even on school nights, we frequently have movie night. Many times it is just the kids watching a movie while I clean up the kitchen, laundry, etc. But I love to "snuggle" them on the couch ("snuggle time"... they just eat up!) and watch a good flick so we are trying to find a night to designate as "Family Movie Night." We pop popcorn, make cookies, and watch a movie. They usually choose what they want to watch-sometimes it's an amazing movie, the kind that makes you want to go and save the world, sometimes it turns out to be a dumb show we thought we'd try. But none of that really matters so much. What matters is that we're together. And we all LOVE it. Inevitably there will be a time in the future when our kids won't think it's so cool to stay home with their parents to watch a movie, but for now, we're superstars to them and we're eating it up while we can!

3. Sunday is Baking Day

Sunday afternoon is sacred at our house. I don't mean necessarily in a spiritual way, but it is sacred family time. This is the time when my kids love to bake. We don't do this EVERY Sunday, but pretty often. "Chef Lollie" and "Bronsatouille" put on their aprons, pull a chair to the counter, and what ever we make, even something simple, they LOVE it! I think it is the part about creating something grand from a bunch of ordinary ingredients, not to mention the anticipation of waiting by the oven door to get the first glimpse of the finished product! But if you think about it it is pretty magical in the eyes of a child. Mix in a pinch of this and a little of that and you have a yummy, spectacular treat!

4. "You've Got Mail"

No, not the electronic kind. I'm talking Pony Express, genuine US Postal Service delivered! EVERY TIME I get the mail both kids ask "Is there anything for me?" So I started sending them mail. Just maybe once or twice a month, sending a post card, a little note, even a picture I colored out of a coloring book. I LOVE to see how their entire face lights up at the fact that they just got mail of their very own!

5. Speaking of notes...

I'm know every mom does this...I used to love finding notes written on my napkin in my school lunch. I love the thought of Brooklyn being away at school and finding a little note hidden inside her lunch box. It is so precious, even makes me a little teary that she has saved almost, if not every one of the lunch notes I have ever given her inside her binder. Don't know how long she will do that but I am grateful it means that much to her.

6.The old Smiley Face on the hand...

When Bronson first started school this year, and kind of having a difficult time with the separation, I would every day draw a smiley face with hearts on his hand. He knew if he was sad, having a hard time, missed me, whatever, he would look at his hand and see me sending happy thoughts to him. Well, I thought after a few days, maybe a week it would wear off, but almost every day this whole year he has asked me to draw him a smiley face. It melts my heart I tell you! These precious babies grow up so fast! The day he is too big for a smiley will be a sad one.

7. "Terrific Ten"

Every day, sometime during the day we try to have Terrific Ten. When the kids, one at a time, get my undivided attention for ten minutes, at least. (Okay... life gets busy and sometimes you get carried away in the "to do list" of chores, errands, activities, and everyday tasks.) They get to talk about whatever they want and I will listen intently and enjoy snuggling them, oh... and kissing their cute little squishy cheeks.

8. Our "Tree of Goodness & Joyness"

(Okay this is kind of another subject but I thought I would add it in.) Everyday I ask Brooklyn to give me "5". Which means at school she will do 5 "good deeds". Not for her best fiends, but for others she wouldn't normally interact with, although it can be for a teacher. Bronson & I can do it too at home. It was something she looked forward to at first and then kind of lost steam. We started writing all the good deeds we would do in a journal-then lost lost steam with that. So now we have created our Tree. (The name came from this dumb YouTube cartoon that Lacey & Kole introduced us to. You know the dumb Napoleon Dynamite kind that are so stupid the first time you see it, but the more you watch the funnier it gets...here's the link in case you need a little amusement-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus ) Every day we add "goodness & joyness" leaves to our tree. It can be your good deeds for the day, things you are thankful for, things you love, characteristics you like about family members-whatever as long as it is positive. Fun to see all the "goodness" we are giving out to the world!

9. Birthday Letters

Being the fanatic about record keeping that I am I love to write letters to my kids. I love to keep every sweet note they give me, pictures they tape on my walls, many of which have remained in the same spot for years. Every time I pass by them my heart melts at the love my children show to me. it. I decided that every year on their birthday I would write them a letter. When they turned 18, 21, or when they get married, or have a baby of their own-haven't decided yet, I would present their letters starting from before they were born. I want them to forever remember how much I love them at every stage and what I've noticed about them each year as they grow and change.

10. Things I love about you

I got this idea from a friend- every now and then she will write on her children's finger tips. With a pen she will write the 1st letter of a talent, skill, or quality they have on each of their 10 fingers. (such as for good at playing baseball you would write a "b", etc). I do a letter for things I love about them. How awesome for them to look at their fingertips and know that with those fingers they can create/accomplish anything they want to. And to see all the things that Mom thinks they are really good at. What a great way to build self esteem!

Just my thought for the day....

(This is the perfect picture from my Aunt Debbie. Exactly what Kielee and I were talking about...see post about the train.)

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.